We know death is inevitable and sooner or later it will come for us. But it still doesn’t make it any easier or expected. The death of a loved one and the time of grieving varies for us all in the way we process and maneuver the unwanted circumstances. Knowing how to respond when it happens can make a memorable difference. For me, I’ve always tried to be the strong one for my family and extended family. Reaching out and just doing what I can to be of service. It’s how I cope with loss. Not to say that I don’t get off to myself and have a good cry, because I do that more often than not. Internally I’m falling apart while staying strong for everyone else. It’s who I am, It’s what I do. I take care of family! Maybe that comes from being the first born, or maybe it’s just how God wired me. It can be a challenge to know what to do or say without causing an awkward moment. All too often we try to show support and offer up advice or spiritual rationalization. Or we come up short and don’t know what to say. We try to communicate comfort in ways we best know how. In a blink of an eye, life gets turned upside down by the loss of a loved one, weather it’s expected or not. Emotions become overwhelming as well as the responsibilities in the days to follow. It can be a daunting task to know when and when not to reach out.
Today I lost a very dear and precious Great Aunt. She was a pillar in our family. She excepted you no matter what path in life you took. Always had a smile, a kind uplifting word of encouragement and a prayer, always a prayer. She was the epitome of a Women of Faith, a prayer warrior. She would be on her knees for every family member and friend 24/7, if she needed to. Aunt Mary will be greatly missed but she will forever hold a place in our hearts.Words still evade me and can not express the love and gratitude I have for this beautiful lady. We had a close bond that became closer after the passing of my grandmother, her sister. She stepped in and filled that gap for me and our family.
Death has reared it’s head now and again, more times than I care to mention, in my family leaving us broken hearted and at a loss. I always find the words “I’m sorry” or “I’m sorry for your loss” to be the most helpful and acknowledging words in a time of grief. Not knowing the true emotional state one is going through, a simple word or hug is the best true empathy you can show. Have compassion: offering to help in ways such as preparing a meal, provide a ride, or help clean and sort through old items. Be sensitive to the feelings and needs of those who are grieving. When it comes to helping a loved one cope with loss, just being there can be the most valuable support system. No words to validate, or fill in the gap, “Just be”! Grieving the loss is where the healing process begins. I, myself am still grieving the loss of my granddaughter, who has been gone 5 years in December, 2019 (and whose story I will share later on), I still grieve for all my grandparents and loved ones, friends who have all gone too soon. But yet I am healing also.
The death of a loved one is a life shattering experience with prolonged significance. Today’s unexpected loss brought on for me, a whole new set of emotions and pause for how precious life is. How often we take it for granted. Death has no age restrictions, no time barrier, no reservations. It sees, It comes, It takes. But I thank God daily that my life is prepared and I know that Heaven will be my home and as short as life might be, I need not worry. I’ll grieve while on this earth, with emotions that are intangible and raw but my sorrow will turn to joy.
